During a seminar, a woman asked," How do I know if I am
with the right person?"
The author then noticed that there was a large man sitting
next to her so he said, "It depends. Is that your partner?" In all
seriousness, she answered "How do you know?" Let me answer this
question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind replied
the author.
Here's the answer.
Every relationship has a cycle… In the beginning; you
Fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their calls,
Want their touch, and like their idiosyncrasies. Falling in
love wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous
experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called
"falling" in love.
People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet.
“Picture the expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing
nothing, and then something happened TO YOU.
Falling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience. But
after a few months or years of being together, the euphoria of love fades. It's
a natural cycle of EVERY relationship.
Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come
at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies,
instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with
every relationship; you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial
stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.
At this point, you and/or your partner might start asking,
"Am I with the right person?" And as you reflect on the euphoria of
the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else.
This is when relationships breakdown.
The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the
right person; it's learning to love the person you found.
People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look
outside for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and
sizes.
Infidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to
work, a hobby, friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer
to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your relationship. It lies within it.
I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone
else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same
situation a few years later.
Because (listen carefully to this):
The key to succeeding in a Relationship is not finding the
right person; it's learning to love the Person you found.
SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience.
You have to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy.
And most importantly, it demands WISDOM. You have to know
WHAT TO DO to make it work. Make no mistake about it!
Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do
(with or without your partner), Just as there are physical laws of the universe
(such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. If you know how to
apply these laws, the results are predictable.
Love is therefore a "decision". Not just a
feeling.
Remember this always: God determines who walks into your
life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and
who you refuse to let GO!
C&P
